THIS IS A REPOST. WE NEED TO STOP BULLYING FROM THE START. DO YOUR PART AS A PARENT TO TEACH YOUR CHILDREN NOT TO BULLY OR TO TOLERATE THE BULLY.
Did you ever have one of those days that your behind? Well I do and they happen more often then not. Yesterday was one of those days. When I get behind I always try and remind myself that it is for a reason and to take a deep breath, relax, keep everything in perspective and I will get to where I am going and all will get done and be fine. Well the unique thing about yesterday was that I kept having a nagging feeling that I was behind for a reason. I knew I would get to the park with my daughter, eventually, and we would have fun. But the nagging feeling lingered for the reason why we were 2 hours behind schedule. When we got to the park it was busier than usual and then I remembered it was spring break for some schools. It was packed, but we settled in quickly and started enjoying the many activities the park has to offer. Since I have an only child it sometimes is sad for my daughter, no one to play with but me...she tends to get over it pretty quickly and I am a hands on mom so it is not unusual for me to be climbing on the jungle gyms, swinging or going down the slides. Yesterday in all the craziness of the tons of children, I was able to sit back and observe between play areas the many parents that just let there kids run wild. I thought to myself, am I too over bearing and controlling of a mom to not let my child out of my sight? I thought again...no, especially with the unsafe world around us. I never let her out of my sight or let her be too far for too long. But I noticed that many parents don't take the same approach I do and there were kids from toddlers and up that didn't have a parent watching closely. As I watched my daughter make sand castles in the sand and observed the miscellaneous children coming up to play for a moment then move on, two kids came by me from around the slide. A boy of about 6 and a girl of about 5, he had her in a choke hold and was dragging her, pulling her hair, clothes anything he could to get her to move in the direction he wanted her to go. My first reaction was what is he doing??? Since I am not a quiet, sit back and watch kind of person, I quickly said, "What are you doing?" He ignored me and kept on doing it, pulling her hair, shoving her and she was screaming and crying as I told him to stop. He was in his own world and I frantically looked around for a mother of one of the kids...was this his sister? A friend? Were they strangers? Either way, since I was the only parent watching this in a sea of 50 plus parents, I had to do something, regardless of the relationship. I knew I could not physically touch the children because of the world we live in, so I walked with them asking the boy to stop and telling him he was hurting the girl, it seemed like 20 minutes had gone by, but in reality it was probably only 5. He lessoned his grip and finally, a mother came around the slide and I told her, the little boy is hurting the girl and he needs to stop. She quickly stepped in as I was so thankful that the parent had finally showed up to take responsibility of her child or (children). I am still not sure if she was the mother of both, but she did know both children. I heard her start to discipline the little boy and say something about the fact that when she asks her to get the little girl to leave, that he doesn't have to physically remove her from the play ground, but tell her it is time to go. I guess, I felt the mother should have been paying closer attention, so this little girls 5 plus minutes of torment would of not happened at all. Then it finally hit me, the reason for being behind yesterday, so I could be there for her exactly at the right place and right time to stop the bullying of the little boy, the hair pulling, the tugging, the shoving, choking and pushing. I was really quite horrified and shaken up and then looked around and realized that no one else had even witnessed this except for me in a crowd of 100 plus people. Amazing to me, that people, are so much in their own world that they don't notice when their child could be in danger. I am thankful for timing and thankful for being in the right place at the right time and being a parent that stops and takes notice to stop bullying in its tracks. Have a good day and keep your kids close. You never know what may or may not happen even in a safe environment. All my best, Dyan
What I learned: Keep your kids close even in perceived safe places, step in if you see a child or anyone in need of help, teach your child to communicate their feelings and wants so they can express themselves in all situations, in a wrong situation...I did the right thing and take the time to pay attention to your child - what you do today will make a difference tomorrow.
What we shared: Hopefully a better awareness of parent responsibility, if a witness to bullying step in and help because both the victim and bully probably need it and even safe environments can be potentially dangerous.