Please enjoy this repost. Hoping to shed some light on #bullies
#Bullies come in all shapes and sizes and the #bullying comes in all types of ways. Beware of the #bully! We are into our fourth week of school. Up until today I have only been concerned with clean uniforms, a good breakfast, lunch, making sure my daughter has enough sleep, getting to school on time and doing her reading log. Even though I am aware of #bullying, I didn't think that this would even come up as a concern in kindergarten, let alone with my daughter.
Today at drop off, after my daughter put away her belongings, she ran to play on the playground right out of her classroom door, I turned my back for just a second to sign her in and say good morning to another parent, when she came running back to me hugging me so tight I couldn't even get her to talk to me to tell me if she was hurt or find out what could have happened in such a brief second. Unfortunately, I nor no one else saw what happened. I had to wait out the tight hold she had on me and wait until the tears subsided enough to get her to talk. After figuring out she hadn't fallen or wasn't physically hurt, I asked her what happened. She wouldn't tell me. After 5 minutes of consoling and talking with her, she finally told me. The boys were playing super heroes on the playground. (This is quite the thing to do at this age and she has taken a liking to it). I put together that she went up to one of the boys and asked him to play, what was exactly said, I am not sure, except for that he said something and ran off. I assumed at first that she could maybe not catch him or he did something silly. They have been classmates for the past 2 years and didn't even think, that anything more than a innocent misunderstanding took place. The school bell rang and even though the tears were some what cleared up, it seemed that the flood gates were going to open again at any moment. For the the first time this year, I could not stand to leave my daughter at school and walk away. I felt helpless even though her teacher came over and told me that if something more was wrong and my daughter could not take being at school today, she would call me immediately and I could come back and get her. My first instinct was to take her home with me, but I didn't exactly know what had happened and I could not take the easy way out for her. So, I gave her hand to her teacher and watched her walk in...I was sad and hoping that she was ok.
When the door shut there were a couple of moms, standing by still and they asked what had happened. I explained that I really didn't know accept that my daughter did not want to talk about it and the little boy that was involved. I felt that she didn't want to tell me because she would of felt like a tattle tale and I had to prod it out of her telling her all would be ok. When the one mother heard what I had to say she shared with me something that had happened to her daughter the night before. She woke up in the middle of the night to tell her something about this same little boy and what he had done to another girl in class the day before. The mother felt that her daughter had wrestled with telling her for fear of being the "tattle taler" and didn't want to, but was so affected by it that she could not sleep! They talked and found out that this same little boy was making fun of another girl classmate when she was assigned to do a daily class task. It made the girl feel so bad that she went up to this little girl and she told her about it. The mother also shared with me that on the way to school she asked what she would share in circle time today. Even though she had something very exciting to talk about, she did not want to share it with fear of being made fun of from this same little boy.
All of this comes as a shock and surprise, but I am grateful that this has transpired to bring up the awareness in myself and also the teacher. I do not want to be the tattle taler either, but for sake of my daughter, all the others kids in the class and this little boy, I feel that it most be shared and nipped in the bud immediately before it can go any further making the kids upset, uncomfortable or not looking forward to going to school each and every day and sharing themselves and getting involved in school for who they are and how they feel.
This first year of real school is impressionable on all of them. I want each and every child to enjoy the experience, learn and be happy. After all at 5 or 6 that is what life should be about, being happy!
Later today, I will take the teacher aside and share my concerns and the concerns of the other parent as I have her permission. I don't want this to become something bigger than it needs to be and will handle confidentially and respond in a prompt manner. When I pick up my daughter, I will also talk with her about the incident and let her know that she can always confide in me and that I am always here for her to go to and share what ever might be troubling her.
In the meantime, if your child has had or should have a similar experience, do something about it immediately. Be discreet with the teacher, do not involve every parent and make it a "grapevine community" issue. You do not want to have gossip spreading. Be prompt in your response. Talk to your teacher first and see if a resolution can be brought to life sooner rather than later. I am sure as the kids get older and the #bullying goes farther other approaches should be taken, I do not have experience with older #bullies and hope I (or my daughter) never will.
Take the time today to discuss #bullying with your kids. Make them aware, let them know that you are there for them at all times to help them with any issue that is bugging them. Keep the communications open with your child. A healthy trusting bond from the start will ensure a healthy relationship in the future as other issues or problems come their way. Also, be open to seeing your child for who he or she is, be honest with yourself, make sure you and your kids treat everyone fairly and with the respect and love each and every one of us deserves. Be there for your kids today, tomorrow and the future...raising a great kid starts at home! All of my best, Dyan