Ok. So, we are now in our second month of school…starting to
get in a groove and settled in with the new school, routine, meeting new
friends and basically getting acclimated to first grade and our new school. Everything is going smooth, exactly how I like
it, (I can be a bit of a control freak).
Unfortunately, this week my daughter had a major melt down.
I was surprised as she had been telling me every day that she loves school, her
new friends, her teachers, etc.
It started with a bad dream. She woke me up about 1 hour before I had to
get up to get her ready for school. She
crawled in bed with my husband and I and we talked briefly about it and back to
sleep she went. All was fine, at least I
thought it was. She then woke up on her
own to start getting ready for school and she was sad and started crying and
telling me more about her dream. She
didn’t go into too much detail, but I realized that the dream had to do with me
picking her up after school and I wasn’t there…she was left all alone waiting
for me. She was sad and scared all at
the same time. We discussed dreams and
how it was just a dream and I would be there to pick her up as I had been every
day since school had started. She
seemed to be a bit better and time was clicking to get to school so, off to
school we went. Her tears had dried up
and she seemed fine, until we walked into school and the tears came, boy did
the come. I hadn’t seen her cry this
hard ever at school. I reassured her as
best as possible. I talked briefly with the teacher about the situation. Her teacher consoled her and she tried to be
brave and wiped off the remaining tears and walked into her classroom. I felt sad and quite frankly wanted to just take her out of
school for the day. But we all know that
is something we cannot do, otherwise it could become a habit that might be hard
I started to walk back to my car and ran into a friend of
mine who also has a daughter at the school. I told her what happened. We walked back to our cars and said goodbye. An hour later my friend called me and
suggested I come in to volunteer for lunch duty, (even though it wasn’t my day
to volunteer). She went on to tell me
that it would be a wonderful way for my daughter to know that I am there to
support her, be there for her and what a wonderful surprise it would be for
her. I had a million things to do that
day and did not really have the time to volunteer, but thought about what she
was telling me and realized that it really did make sense, a lot of sense and
she was absolutely right! I made the calls and verified it was ok for me
to come in and help out at lunch.
I arrived on time and waited for her class to come to the
lunch room. As her class filed into the
lunch room, she turned and saw me. Her
face lit up, it really lit up!! For that
one moment in time, I could see all the sadness and uncertainty turn into
happiness, peace and light. I was
soooooo happy that I had shared my morning with my friend and was soooooo happy
that I listened to her advice! This is
one of the reasons why I started this blog, for moms and friends to share with
each other ideas that work, REALLY work for their families and kids to make a
stronger family bond, community bond and relationships that are filled with
love, happiness and commitment.
friends getting together and sharing ideas about kids and life!
Even though a simple idea, I am not sure I would have
thought of doing it on my own. I am truly
grateful for my friend, because it made such a difference in my child’s day
that I wouldn’t have traded anything else in the world to have seen her day
brightened right before my very eyes.
Many wonderful benefits to this one. I also helped out the school in
volunteering. Today, make a difference
in your kids life. Be aware of their
needs, be there to support them in every way you can and hug them/love them as
much as possible. All of my best, Dyan
What I learned: That
it is possible to turn your kids melt downs into a positive experiences, sharing
your challenging times with friends can
always give you a new perspective to help strengthen your relationships within
your family and how much I value my friends and relationships because they help
me be a better mom.
What my child learned:
That she is not alone at school, I am there for her and care about her
feelings, I will be there to support her and how much mommy does love her.
One of the things I love to do with and for my kid is to make “to do” lists. I am a list person all the way through and I found early on that I sometimes get so caught up in what I need or want to do that the things I wanted to do with and for my daughter got left behind. So, I started making “to do” lists with my daughter and it has been one of the best things I could have ever done for her! I have been doing this for many years now and the rewards have been wonderful. Now, that she is a bit older, I have her participate in making the lists. When she was younger, I would make the lists to make sure that we didn't miss anything that I thought was important to her learning, experiencing and growing. I plan a balance of things for her/us to do. Whether it is puzzles, making a craft, baking/creating something in the kitchen, music, dolls or catching balls, playing sports, chalk, drawing, etc., the list goes on and on. I want to ensure that are doing a varied list of activities to help her learn, grow and be successful in life and school. If you take the time to make a list of well-rounded activities, it will insure that you will do these things with your child. I have to say that as I watch my daughter grow she is good at many things and I believe it is because we have always had our "to do" list with varied activities on it.
If you practice this with your child that is wonderful, if not, it is time to start. Get out that piece of paper, pen and start creating your “TO DO” list today. Don't make it so long and unobtainable, make it simple. Puzzles, play catch and music (listen, dance and play instruments). That’s it, that easy and the rewards your kid will have are tremendous. Tomorrows’ list you ask....make a craft for the holidays, play hopscotch and play their favorite game. It's easy to do, change it up, make it well rounded and your child will be well rounded too! All of my best! Dyan
There is one thing that I never had to write down and that was to read with my child. I have been reading with her since the day she was born (well maybe not until we got home from the hospital) but pretty darn close to it. I didn't read when she was in the womb, but once born, I am proud to say that I really have only missed a hand full of days because of traveling, visitors or something else special planned. But I make the time everyday to read and the benefits to her are amazing, the first time she took the book out of my hands and said “I think I can read this to you mommy” and started reading to me I was overwhelmed with emotion and so proud of her! Reading to your child is so important it builds confidence, encouragement and it’s a great way to bond with your kid. Read every day the rewards are well worth it!!!
I wanted to follow-up to my video blog post last week on mommy daddy time. I did it! I made time for myself and my husband on Friday night. We set up the babysitting time with our health club for Friday night parents night out. It is only 3 hours and not that much time, but the reward was well worth it. The funny thing about the whole night is that we really were not going to do that much. By the time we dropped her off and got dressed to go, we only had an hour and a half, so we decided to just go for a drive in my husbands sports car that finally came out of the shop after the last 3 months of having work done on it. The pros of this is that we are confined to a small space and all we can do is talk. So, we took off for a ride. The evening was nice and the sun was starting to set. We drove for about 20 minutes before we got pulled over...was he speeding? Maybe just a bit to avoid the car that almost hit us while going down the street. So, for that brief second of time that he lit it up, yep, we got pulled over by the police. We don't drink and drive and most times he doesn't even speed. I tease him that he drives like my grandpa. So most of our mommy daddy time was spent sitting by the side of the road waiting for the police to write up our ticket. I asked my husband why he didn't even try to get out of the ticket. I would of explained that this is only a hand full of times that my husband and I have gone out since my daughter was born. We went for a drive, we have to pick her up in 45 minutes and are out just enjoying each others company. We only sped for a second to pass the car that swerved into our lane and get away from him since it was Cinco de Mayo this weekend...could you give us a break? But, as we know, men and women are completely different. He didn't even try to explain or tell the cop our sob story of trying to reconnect as parents and have mommy daddy time. In the end, he got the ticket and we had just enough time to turn around and go pick up our daughter at the health club. We did at least have time to get away for a bit, enjoy each others company and try to reconnect. The sad but true part is...I think the ticket will cost more than a nice dinner out....priceless.
It's Monday, so take the time to make the time and plan ahead for the weekend. You'll be glad you did! All my best, Dyan
What I learned: That even small moments of time spent together can be beneficial to you and your spouse, making the effort will bring rewards to your relationship, being in confined places forces and strengthens your communication (keep the music off or on low if your in the car) this will give you and your spouse the time and place to reconnect and that in most areas of life men and women are completely different.
What we shared: An ironic memory that will go down in our constant battle to spend "quality" time together of making the time to take the time, a few can you believe it's??, good conversation of our lives and plain old catching up on the weeks events.
I would love to hear from you. Do you have funny/ironic stories of you and your spouse trying to reconnect and the universe getting in the way of your time together? Send me an email at dyan@momskidsandfriends.
Valentines Day is right around the corner, so, my daughter and I put on our thinking caps for her school Valentines. We don't like to do the run of the mill Valentines with a store bought card and some candy, (even though, this year I was very tempted because of all the uncertainty in our lives the last few months and the unsettled living we have been experiencing). So, we thought we would do the dollar section toys and grab bags filled with odd and end Valentines day gadgets and such in a pretty bag. I then talked to one of my friends and she told me that is what she was doing this year, because her daughter hasn't done anything like that before. I thought...now what?? A couple of days later, I overheard an advertisement on the TV for heart shaped balloons on sale. Prefect! So, that is what we are doing...heart shaped balloons (I checked with her teacher first to make sure it was ok, do this too if using this idea), with heart shaped balloon holders (which I had to do a bit of searching for, but turned out better than the usual balloon clip holder), a couple pieces of Valentines day candy (because what is Valentines day without a piece of candy or two) and our hand made Valentine puppets (which we got the idea for the craft from our favorite monthly magazine). I do not have a picture for you of the finished project, but will after I get the balloons. Did you know there is a helium shortage? Crazy right? Well, there is, so get those orders in to make sure you get those holiday balloons filled. We are looking forward to making our puppets, filling the bags and picking up the balloons. I had to be a bit more creative this year, but it worked for me and will work for you! We also will be doing another Valentines day craft, which we will post in the next day or so...time permitting. With our recent move back home, I am a bit behind on everything...but I remember - to take a deep breath and know it will all get done. And the extra craft time? I make time to take time and it is well worth it!! What we learned: if we put our thinking caps on - we can always come up with a unique idea, how to problem solve, don't get discouraged if you find someone is doing what you were thinking of doing and being creative is fun! What we shared: fun, quality time, make the time to take the time to put a smile on each others faces and new ideas can be better than old ones.
Happy Pre-Valentines day to you. May you spend some quality time with a loved one this week. Dyan