moms inspiring one another
Ok. So, we are now in our second month of school…starting to
get in a groove and settled in with the new school, routine, meeting new
friends and basically getting acclimated to first grade and our new school. Everything is going smooth, exactly how I like
it, (I can be a bit of a control freak).
Unfortunately, this week my daughter had a major melt down.
I was surprised as she had been telling me every day that she loves school, her
new friends, her teachers, etc.
It started with a bad dream. She woke me up about 1 hour before I had to
get up to get her ready for school. She
crawled in bed with my husband and I and we talked briefly about it and back to
sleep she went. All was fine, at least I
thought it was. She then woke up on her
own to start getting ready for school and she was sad and started crying and
telling me more about her dream. She
didn’t go into too much detail, but I realized that the dream had to do with me
picking her up after school and I wasn’t there…she was left all alone waiting
for me. She was sad and scared all at
the same time. We discussed dreams and
how it was just a dream and I would be there to pick her up as I had been every
day since school had started. She
seemed to be a bit better and time was clicking to get to school so, off to
school we went. Her tears had dried up
and she seemed fine, until we walked into school and the tears came, boy did
the come. I hadn’t seen her cry this
hard ever at school. I reassured her as
best as possible. I talked briefly with the teacher about the situation. Her teacher consoled her and she tried to be
brave and wiped off the remaining tears and walked into her classroom. I felt sad and quite frankly wanted to just take her out of
school for the day. But we all know that
is something we cannot do, otherwise it could become a habit that might be hard
I started to walk back to my car and ran into a friend of
mine who also has a daughter at the school. I told her what happened. We walked back to our cars and said goodbye. An hour later my friend called me and
suggested I come in to volunteer for lunch duty, (even though it wasn’t my day
to volunteer). She went on to tell me
that it would be a wonderful way for my daughter to know that I am there to
support her, be there for her and what a wonderful surprise it would be for
her. I had a million things to do that
day and did not really have the time to volunteer, but thought about what she
was telling me and realized that it really did make sense, a lot of sense and
she was absolutely right! I made the calls and verified it was ok for me
to come in and help out at lunch.
I arrived on time and waited for her class to come to the
lunch room. As her class filed into the
lunch room, she turned and saw me. Her
face lit up, it really lit up!! For that
one moment in time, I could see all the sadness and uncertainty turn into
happiness, peace and light. I was
soooooo happy that I had shared my morning with my friend and was soooooo happy
that I listened to her advice! This is
one of the reasons why I started this blog, for moms and friends to share with
each other ideas that work, REALLY work for their families and kids to make a
stronger family bond, community bond and relationships that are filled with
love, happiness and commitment.
friends getting together and sharing ideas about kids and life!
Even though a simple idea, I am not sure I would have
thought of doing it on my own. I am truly
grateful for my friend, because it made such a difference in my child’s day
that I wouldn’t have traded anything else in the world to have seen her day
brightened right before my very eyes.
Many wonderful benefits to this one. I also helped out the school in
volunteering. Today, make a difference
in your kids life. Be aware of their
needs, be there to support them in every way you can and hug them/love them as
much as possible. All of my best, Dyan
What I learned: That
it is possible to turn your kids melt downs into a positive experiences, sharing
your challenging times with friends can
always give you a new perspective to help strengthen your relationships within
your family and how much I value my friends and relationships because they help
me be a better mom.
What my child learned:
That she is not alone at school, I am there for her and care about her
feelings, I will be there to support her and how much mommy does love her.
Make play dates fun! Themed play dates are one of my favorites, I love them!! I really do. Even though they are a lot of work sometimes (at least the way I like to do them) my daughter and I always have so much fun and the extra work I put in is worth it!
We had a wonderful play date with some of her friends. My daughter is getting older every day and I got to thinking that all those costumes in her closet might not get the use they once did before Kindergarten started. Now that she is in school full time, she is so busy that we barely have time to do any of our favorites anymore. I thought, we are having a play date and we are going to utilize these costumes, tea set and princess stuff before she out grows it! (The best part of this play date is your child will love it even if younger or older).
So, we invited her friends over for a dress-up princess tea party. They were to come dressed up with clothes to change into for after. My daughter and I set-up her table for tea and crumpets (which were actually cookies), she insisted on making place cards and a huge banner of the play dates activities which included making placements for their tea party and then we laminated them to take home to use at anytime. This to me is the best part of planning play dates with my daughter for her friends, it allows her to come up with her own ideas and additions to the play date!
We had a wonderful time. Her friends came dressed up as requested and loved the idea of it! They enjoyed their tea, snacks and making the placements. Fun was had by all and us moms…we got to hang out talk and enjoy watching our kids play and create.
What we learned: Theme play dates are fun! Even though a bit more work and some set-up is involved the reward is well worth it. My daughter practiced setting up her tea table correctly, placing place cards and making a fun banner ‘a schedule of events’. She used her creativity, practiced drawing, writing her letters. She learned that half the fun of a play date is in the planning and brain storming ideas together to come up with a fun play date.
What we shared: Fun, Fun, Fun...which is a must at my house, creativity in many ways, my daughter had a blast making her place cards. She learned how to spell her friends names and used their favorite colors, her banner kept her busy with coloring, design, drawing and taping together. The best part of themed play dates is they bring a life of their own to new things to learn and create for my daughter. She has the chance to participate and fill worthy of her wonderfully creative ideas, it promotes thinking and planning on her part. I love it! Her friends had a wonderful time of having tea, practicing manners and being creative with their placemats. The one thing I learned is that not every mom is like me. I love and enjoy doing these things with my kid. My play dates give them the chance to share and be creative and I don’t mind doing this for them and my friends appreciate it as well (even though I am always secretly hoping they will see how effortlessly a few extra details provides many many benefits of learning, sharing and creating memories for them and their daughters to last a lifetime)!
Next play date...put your thinking cap on and plan a themed play date. Plan with your kid, invite some friends over and start creating memories. All of my best, Dyan
I believe that play dates are important, especially if you have an only child.
One of my favorite kinds of play dates are educational play dates. I try to
teach my daughter anything I can through fun things we do. To me, everything is a potential learning situation and many new things can be learned from one or two simple ideas of things that you can do together with your child.
Yesterday we went to the butterfly exhibit at our local botanical garden. We lucked out with beautiful weather! We invited some new friends of ours as we had extra tickets. The best
part of the day was that my new friend has the same appreciation for learning and
teaching her children as I do, taking every opportunity to teach the kids about
everything we saw. Even though we were there to see the butterflies, we learned about flowers, trees, cactus's and how birds make their nests in the cactus. My daughters friend brought a magnifying glass and the kids had a chance to reinforce the concept of sharing because there was only one with three kids. They got to look up close at the flowers, leaves and butterflies. The kids loved!! We enjoyed our time finding the different kinds of butterflies that were on exhibit. They all wanted a butterfly to land on them and I am not sure if one really did or not, even though it was mentioned that one did on my daughters head. Either way, we had a great time and all of us learned new things about butterflies and the desert life.
Make the time this week to have an educational play date, whether you go to the zoo, botanical garden, aquarium or library, the opportunities are endless. If you don't have the money for a paid event, many local libraries give free passes to many museums and such. Check with them and take advantage of the free opportunities provided for you in your community. Can't get a free pass you ask? Go to the park, have a picnic, grab your magnifying glasses, binoculars anything you can to make I an educational play date, you'll be glad you did and you and your kid will learn something new today. All my best, Dyan
What we learned: Getting together with new friends is a lot of fun and you don't realize how much you have in common in your parenting until you spend quality time with someone, lots of facts about the outdoor desert life, that there are many different species of butterflies, how to be patient in learning, educational facts from the guide at the garden, sharing can be fun and that educational play dates are just as fun as hanging out talking while your kids are playing.
What we shared: A love of learning, a magnifying glass and learning to share and the love of beautiful butterflies!!!
How many of us feel guilty for the things we do or don't do with or for our kids? I know that every mom that I have ever talked to about raising kids, at some point in their lives or relationships with their kids, have a feeling of guilt. I should do this more often or that. I know that my own mother (and father) had and have lots of guilt for the things never said or done. As I think back to my childhood and the way I was raised, my parents had the guilt, but never did anything about it. Now sitting in the drivers seat of a parents life, I feel that this is a very easy fix. Instead of talking or worrying about what you do and don't do, just do it! Every mothers guilt is different, not enough time spent with them, when the time is spent not being connected, no helping them learn the lessons of life, not supporting them in what they are doing, not showing up for dance recitals or baseball games. To me it seems simple, again, just do it! Say the things you want to say, life is too short not too. Do the things you want to do with and for your child. Life is too short not too! Be the parent that you always wished your mother or father to be to you. Just do it! Life is too short not too! Tell them how much you love them, how beautiful of a person they are, hold them, hug them, tell them they can and do anything they want and mean it! Explain to them how important it is to be a good person and lead by example. Turn off the cell phones, the emails, the texts, IMs, etc and spend the time to be a better parent. If you find that all of this is too overwhelming, break it up and start small, baby steps do work.
I have a friend of a friend that says they can not connect with their kids. They can't turn off that constant mental check list in their head of what needs to get done at work and at home. I get it, being a parent, single or not single is a tough thing. My advice to her you ask? Make a list of things to do with your kids. This is one of my favorite things to do with my daughter. This way I am making the efforts to do the things I want to do with her and she wants to do with me. Now, everyday is not perfect of course and other unforeseens come into the equation of life. So, if something doesn't get done that day or week we make the list, we add it to the next day or week. Sometimes we even multi-task, good or bad we do it. We play a game while having dinner, we do a puzzle, we do an activity book while having lunch. Let's face it, in todays day and age, when everything is moving so quick, we have to slow down. If we can't do it all the way, at least we are taking the time to make the time with our kids. Stop the guilt...you are good parents and a little change will go a long way. Only you can change it and make the difference, one step at a time.
Start your list of things to do with your child today, do it and you will feel better and the guilt will slowly melt away. All of my best, Dyan
What I learned: When I make my list for things to do with my daughter, it helps me focus my efforts of spending time with her, we do well rounded things-games, exercise, cooking, you name it what ever we come up with to spend time together, sometimes I need to multi-task my activities of work and play and family time and that is OK, by focusing on the good of what I do, it makes me realize that I am a good parent, not everyday or every thing I do is perfect and that is OK.
What we share: By creating our things to do list it helps us both focus on important activities for both of us, responsibilities, quality time spent together, realistic expectations of what we can do together in a day or week and lots and lots of bonding.
Click on the link above to hear my friend and fellow mom of 3 kids, Lauren, share her ideas on kids and accountability.
How many times, even as adults, do we not take accountability for our actions? Many times I am faced with situations where I have to stop and make sure I am taking accountability for my actions. Whether it is a choice we make at work, in our daily life or with your kid. Take accountability for your actions. Teaching our kids to do this now will make them be better adults. They will be able to survive better in all areas of life. The responsibility of taking accountability will effect them personally, in school and then eventually in the business world. There are many adults I know that do not take accountability for their actions, as I watch in disbelief, I want to ask them "Are you kidding me?" You can't tell you are the reason for that mistake or reaction to your action"....Now I am not perfect, nor do I pretend to be, but as I grow older, I have realized that taking accountability makes me a better person, mother, wife and will teach my daughter to be a better kid, friend and eventually, adult. Make the time to take the time and teach your kids to be accountable for their actions, no matter what the result of their action is. Thanks for stopping by at Moms, kids and friends, "Where moms get together and share ideas about kids and life". All of my best, Dyan
Hi and Welcome to Moms, Kids and Friends, where moms get together and share ideas about kids and life. Thank you for joining me today as I launch my video blog of Moms, Kids and Friends. I have had this vision for a long time of moms getting together and sharing ideas after many play dates with my mom friends and after meeting people on my daily journeys throughout life. Women, men and kids that have inspired me to be a better person, mother and friend. This idea came to me as my mom friends and I would sit around and gab about what has worked for us in all areas of life...manners, accountability, responsibilities, craft ideas, naps.... whatever our daily, weekly, monthly challenges have been. My hope is that you will take away some wonderful ideas and use them in your journey of motherhood. I also would love to hear from you of what has worked in your role as a mother, after all, we are the most important person in shaping our children today, for a better tomorrow for us all. Have a wonderful day! All my best Dyan